embracing your thoughts on motherhood

me, my mom and my sister Dede: I was one year old

Our thoughts and feelings about motherhood change like the ocean tide. Is it filled with joy or sorrow, or like many of us—both? Are you lucky enough to have a mom living? Even luckier still, are you able to visit her this weekend (careful to social distance…or able to embrace her)? Does she live far away or does the current health crisis keep you physically distant, that forces your contact to be over the phone? Has your mom passed away, and your recognition of the day required to be on your own? Is your relationship such that you keep a physical and even audible distance for your own well being? There are endless ways to document your feelings about her and your relationship with her, regardless of your situation. Whether your story of motherhood is beautiful or tragic, there is always beauty in the story of how you have learned, benefited and gained from your mother- BECAUSE OF HER, or even in spite of her.

my mom and I the day I graduated from college

PHOTO:

If you are lucky enough to be able to be with your mom on Mother’s Day…document it with a photo. Hand over a camera, even if it’s your phone. GET IN THE PHOTO! Let go of any idea of perfection and photograph life just as it is.

If you aren’t able to be with her in person…screen shot or video record a Facetime conversation. Ask her questions. Tell her something you are grateful for.

LETTER:

My girls asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I responded, “a letter.” I am fortunate to have all that I need and most of what I want. I can’t think of anything more meaningful than reading their thoughts of us and our relationship. It would mean the world to me. So whether your mom is living or has passed- write her a letter or meaningful words in a card. Write your thoughts and if you can, fill it with gratitude. It will fill you with love and will be the greatest gift she may not have asked for.

JOURNAL:

Whether you choose a social media platform with a photo or the journal and pen at your nightstand, write your thoughts and feelings about motherhood. It can be about your feelings of your mom or your thoughts about being a mom yourself. The benefit of sharing it on social media is the connection and inspiration you can share with those that see it. The benefit of documenting it for yourself is the beautiful way you can process all of your thoughts and feelings without the lens of what is appropriate to share with the world.

visiting my mom at work at age 11

The most important part of any way you choose to celebrate-is letting go of perfection. Just like motherhood, EMBRACE WHAT IS. Embrace the struggle, trial, messiness of your relationships, thoughts and feelings. It is in that process, that love, that grace that creates an opportunity for the beauty of humanness to flourish.

my mom with my daughters approximately 8 years ago

“do it anyway”

I was walking through City Creek and shopping with my daughters. I ran into my friend Natalie. She had a huge smile on her face and I was excited to catch up. She had fun news to share with me. Natalie was going to be starting V School in the coming week. She had decided to study web design. I was really happy for her, and had a longing to join her. At least join her in knowing what she wanted to do and going after it. I looked up V School as soon as I got home.

Natalie worked hard that year. She has since been hired by Intermountain Health. She asked me to take some head shots and I talked her into sharing her thoughts about this path she has taken.

my question: What have you learned about yourself in the process of completing your training and beginning your new career?

I don’t know that I have learned anything super new  about myself, but I’ve definitely been reminded of many things:
-I love people. I am a social person for sure, but it’s deeper than that. I have always been good at reading people. I think that’s why I love Consumer Experience (CX) so much. 
-I have a hard time sitting still. Really. I first figured out I am ADHD when I was in my late 20’s and I didn’t seek treatment until my late 30’s. Medication isn’t for me (although I’m not against it), but I definitely have to make a deliberate effort to focus.  
-Being a working mom means I have to be organized  and multi-task. When I have a lot on my plate I don’t get bored or distracted. 
-I am a morning person.  I do my best work between the hours of 4:30 and 11:30 am. Last year I read the book, When” by Daniel H. Pink. It is life changing to discover your “when”, but more importantly, the “when” of those in both your personal and professional life. 
-If I had to choose one thing I’ve learned about myself, it is that I can be a working mom and still be a great mom too. It requires sacrifice and prioritization, but it is possible.

my question: What would you say to women who have dreams but are afraid to step towards them?

“DO IT ANYWAY. My greatest asset in conquering  fear is my belief in God.  It might seem silly, but I pray for help and confidence for some of the smallest things.  Going to school and stepping into new experiences has been challenging and definitely out of my comfort zone. I could not have done it without prayer and a higher power. “

my question: What do you love most about your profession?

“People. I love CX because it brings brand messaging to the core of the why and what for the consumer. In my industry the consumer is the patient. 
My portfolio covers Oncology and Behavioral Health.   We have weekly meetings where we discuss patient safety stories in which we face anything from self harm, to death. The patient experience is our focus because the experience IS the product; and healthcare is a product we all need.” 

My favorite wisdom that Natalie shared is DO IT ANYWAY! Take the leap, take the class, apply for that job, open that business, start that new hobby, feed that passion. It is there, wide open, waiting for us!

group senior session

Of all of the many amazing things we learn in school- learning to love friends might be the most valuable. It feels like an important aspect to document beautifully. I am offering group senior portrait sessions.

The details:

SENIOR GROUP PORTRAIT SESSIONS

SATURDAY APRIL 4TH

WHITESPACE STUDIOS in Bountiful, UT

up to 3 individuals: 30 minutes of shooting, minimum of 5 individual portraits of each person and 5 group images $350 total. ($100 non refundable deposit to hold your spot)

up to 6 individuals: 50 min. of shooting, 5 individual portraits of each person and 5 group images $450 total. ($100 non-refundable deposit to hold your spot)

up to 9 individuals: 65 min. of shooting, 5 individual portraits of each person and 5 group images $550 total ($100 non-refundable deposit to hold your spot)

Each individual participating will receive access to an online gallery to download images from the session.

Text me @ (801) 232-4920 to check availability. Once you receive a time from me send the deposit via Venmo to @Carin-Davis to save your spot.

the world feels quieter when the snow falls

Today it snowed. I woke early for a Pilates class and was surprised to see the world draped in white. As I slipped along the path to the door, I was excited for what was to come. The class is always a challenge, yet for some reason, against my nature, I enjoy the challenge. After the hour of strain and movement, I stepped back out into the world of white again. There was a brightness from the snow and a clarity from the work that I had just done, that gave me a fresh perspective.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I felt ready. The lenses of self doubt, needing approval & insecurity fell away. I am ready to shift from looking to outsiders for help, answers & learning. I am ready to quiet the world & move forward in confidence with what I know today.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The world feels quieter when snow falls, which is just what I needed.

what FUN has to do with it

I was in a conversation recently where having FUN was considered frivolous…and business and productivity were almost only valued. I have reflected on it a lot, not because I agree intellectually, but because my nature tends to lean that way. If I could go back in time and change anything about my life as a mom…or really just a human, it would be to have more FUN. Work, learning, service, and relationship building are ALL IMPROVED WITH FUN.

One great example of this is Kate’s third grade teacher. Kate did well in kindergarten and first grade. She began reading so early (at three) and has always been so smart. She has a summer birthday, but I never considered holding her back because she was already ahead of kindergarten curriculum well before she entered school. What I didn’t realize was that she wasn’t ready for a traditional school schedule or work day. Her creative and fast moving mind was really struggling with the tasks and sitting required at school. It caught up with her in 2nd grade. Her teacher was really contentious and wanted to help. She even got the principal involved at one point. Kate remembers really liking that teacher-but the teacher, knowing how smart she was, remained frustrated.

The following year was completely different. Kate had a younger, energetic and extremely positive teacher. Mrs. Curtis kept the kids working and expected a lot, but implemented CREATIVITY, THEIR INTERESTS and FUN amazingly well. I still get teary thinking about it. This teacher knew a few of the girls loved THE SISTERS GRIMM series, Ellie and Kate being two of those girls. (Ellie wasn’t even in her class!) Mrs. Curtis spent many lunch periods hosting a SISTERS GRIMM bookclub, when I am sure she could have used some peace and quiet during recess. They would come home from school, their faces lit up, telling me all about it. It increased both of their love of school and reading. It was amazing. SHE is amazing.

The FUN and POSITIVE ENERGY Mrs. Curtis brought to her day and teaching is what I am striving to improve on. How can I make a task more FUN? How can we have more FUN as a family? In what ways am I taking myself too seriously? How can I make my career FUN?

A few strategies that have helped me-

I write in my dream journal everyday“I cherish Danny and our marriage that is filled with love, enthusiasm, growth and FUN” It reminds me that having FUN together is a value that I cherish…and my heart lightens a bit just writing that.

Schedule FUN. When ever Danny and I have reflected on our favorite memories as a family- they have almost ALL been attached to a vacation…having fun. We relax and allow ourselves more FUN when we are on vacation, but scheduling it at home more regularly will bind our family memories more tightly together, which is important to us.

Follow the kids. I have played UNO almost every night this week before bed, because Sophie asked me to. Then I call everyone in to join us. UNO is not my favorite game- but I have been so grateful for the smiles and togetherness to end the day. I am trying to remember to always take up a child’s invitation to play with them. Play is so good for our emotional state and strengthens learning and relationships.

That is a fairly short list that I would love to grow. How do you add more FUN to your life? I know my sister in law would say, drive a convertible! I might add that to my dream journal today!