poverty doesn’t define me.

I recently finished the book YOU ARE A BADASS AT MAKING MONEY by Jen Sincero. I loved the book. (If swearing isn’t your thing, know that there is plenty of it in this book.) I gained so much insight, and it has given weeks (if not months!) of journaling|self reflecting work to go through. One of the first insights I gained, in my history with money, was my attitude toward it. I would never have consciously said this, but I had an almost fearful disdain for it. In fact, I held a belief that there was valor in poverty.

My father was born in 1931. He and his family were nearly overtaken by the depression. His mom raised her seven…and then eight children as a single mom for the majority of it. She has been revered for this, as she should be. She worked in cotton fields, orchards and sewing rooms. She often worked more than one job a day. She brought home a meager existence. I can’t imagine the struggle.

The struggle she went through is something I will always admire, but I took a long with that- an idealization of poverty. Her hardship, her poverty is what adds character to the story we re-tell of her. In our minds, it added honor to her mistakes and her triumphs. What if instead, we chose to see that hardship as a circumstance but not the value. What if we saw greatness in what she gained instead of what she lacked.

left to right: Aunt Vivian, ME, Granny, my mom, and my sister Dede on her lap

My new story will be this:

I come from a line of hard working women. They bring tremendous value in the world. Their work is worthy of support and money. They created income and put a roof over our heads (including MY mom for me). They found many ways to feed themselves and the people they loved. They strived to do their best, and grow and learn. They knew that the money they created made them more of who they are, and not less. Poverty doesn’t define us. The value we put into the world and in our own lives does.

As Ms. Sincero teaches masterfully in her book, I know that the words we say do create our reality. And the thoughts we think about money feed those words. And the beliefs we hold, even the well intentioned ones, are the foundation of those thoughts. I know we can all benefit from considering what is contributing to our reality today. YOU ARE A BADASS AT MAKING MONEY helped me take a giant leap in that direction, and I am grateful.

money doesn’t grow on trees- or does it?

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I was sitting in a home that was beautiful and inspiring. It was filled with relics and artifacts from around the world. It was set in a breathtaking spot, surrounded by trees with massive windows to let in the beauty. I was there for a parenting seminar. The family that was teaching this seminar is amazing. They have sold millions of books. They are asked to speak and teach all over the world, and rightfully so. They are very intentional and proactive individuals. It was inspiring to learn from them. Toward the end of the seminar, a concept came up that I disagreed with. A question was raised to the attendees:

What do you want your children to know about money?

There were answers spilling out that I feel can poison potential…

  • “take care of what you have, because it is limited”
  • “when you spend it, it is gone”
  • “money doesn’t grow on trees” with a chuckle

These are well meaning thoughts that I was taught growing up. They sound good. They sound like the building blocks to inhibit entitlement. They sound responsible and like common sense. But do we really want to believe this? What if instead we taught our children-

  • “making money is easy and fun”
  • “there is always enough”
  • “money is there for you whenever you need it”

I am letting go of scarcity. I am teaching myself, and hopefully teaching my girls, that life and it’s resources are abundant. That they are there for whatever we need. That I know what to do and how to find it. What if they believe that now, at their young ages? Imagine the good they could do in the world!$