One of the last Thanksgiving memories I have of my dad was about “stuffing.” My mom has prepared corn bread stuffing for all of our Thanksgivings and many Christmases my whole life. She made homemade cornbread in her cast iron skillet. It held diced onion and celery with great seasoning. I loved it. We sat around my parent’s table during a Sunday dinner in early November. We were coordinating who would bring what to Thanksgiving that year. I had seen a stuffing recipe that intrigued me (with sourdough bread and sausage) and offered to bring that for the upcoming Thanksgiving. My dad sat me down the following Sunday and in a very serious conversation. He let me know that my mom took pride in her Thanksgiving offering and changing things up would hurt her feelings. Now, I’m not sure if that was true, OR if my dad really wanted to keep cornbread stuffing.
This experience has popped up for me a lot recently. I feel my dad gently reminding me to value my mom’s offerings. Sometimes when you have capable, independent and hard working children you are worked out of a job. While there are MANY benefits to this, I wonder the downsides. It is important to feel relevant and needed in every stage of our lives. When we have our parents over, I often (almost always) say “just come!” “we have everything we need.” I have done this as a service and also an ease. Both of our moms come and always want to help with preparation or doing dishes.
I want to be better this coming year about bringing out, asking for and appreciating the gifts that they have and what they are able to contribute. I am now in the stage of heavy lifting but there is still so much to appreciate what they can give and offer. I did try croissant stuffing this year. We loved it! My mom doesn’t remember her corn bread stuffing anymore. I told her my memory and dad and wanting to care for her feelings. She smiled big and enjoyed every bit of her Thanksgiving meal. She also went straight to the sink to help with dishes.
Some photos of Thanksgiving!
carin + danny 